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I've been trying to stop loving you for 10 months..

For 10 months, I have been trying to get over you. I never moved on, I just had to face the fact that I was basically dead to you. I never stopped loving you. You now know how I packed up everything that had to do with you or I.. how I avoided anything that reminded me of you.

This past week has been Hell. I never knew life could actually pull one in so many different directions at once. Before you called me, life was still Hell.. it was just easier to act like a robot. There were no happy feelings at all. There was no laughing.

When we talk and laugh, it comes from this place deep in me I didn't know existed. Like a geyser opened up in my soul.. Our witty, dumb banter makes me smile. I feel like we have fallen to a place I didn't know where we could go. You have been amazing.. You joked on my poor taste in men (then replied with a smart ass remark!). You have showed me a level of kindness and caring .. I can't put it into words.

You are able to be so sensitive.. but still be you. Taunting me with birthday presents over a month before my birthday. Grrr!

Have we changed as people in a long tedious.. but a fairly short (in perspective) amount of time? I have no clue.

I've typed so many sad things in here.. I was so sure we were so toxic for one another.. I will always make you cookies and steak for breakfast, as long as I am graced with you in my life.


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